Tag: toddler

Top Ten Playground Rules

The weather was gorgeous this week and allowed ample time for outside activities and playground fun. We’re now working on playground rules and socially acceptable behavior on said playground. Of course it all goes out the window with the first toddler meltdown but we did make some observations. 20140310_170432

  1. Just what are you supposed to do with boogers? It is never, never, never socially acceptable to wipe them on your cousin or younger sibling. It’s okay, if you absolutely have no other choice, to wipe them on your own clothes.
  2. Yes I know the dog is barfing. No we do not need to go look. Yes I know she’s eating it. I’m grossed out too. Refer to item 1 above if you want to talk about gross.
  3. That big black and yellow striped, fuzzy thing with wings is not a butterfly. Do not touch it.
  4. Vultures eat dead things. It happens. Yes I feel sorry for that dead squirrel, too. No I will not chase that large flock of very large vultures away. Sorry kid. Nature can be cruel. Watch anything on Nat Geo or Discovery and you’ll think Zombies are harmless.
  5. Throwing mulch on the slide is probably not a good idea. Sharp pieces of chopped up wood can end up where it’s not supposed to be. It will not feel good.
  6. What goes up, comes down. Do not throw the mulch. It will end up in your hair. And you will need another bath. And mommy will be tired of giving you a bath six times a day and may not be so gentle this time.
  7. Just because it’s a fruit snack does not mean you should put it in your mouth. If you have to pick the mulch off of it—and please tell me you didn’t eat the mulch—then it should probably not be eaten. Sorry kid. Life sucks.
  8. There is such a thing as ladder etiquette. If someone is coming up, wait your turn to climb down. Do not climb down while they are climbing up. You end up sitting on their head and that looks silly.
  9. If you spin the swing around and around and around and then let go, it will unwind around and around and around and you will be—what we adults call—drunk. You may stagger a little and giggle because you think it’s funny. It’s not funny. You may barf. Like the dog. Refer to item #2.
  10. There is a reason daddy put a fence around the playground. Yes, I know grandma is on the other side of the fence. Ha Ha.  20140331_170825

Lost in translation

Grandson Aiden, or on those days I can’t remember all their names he’s affectionately known as Grand 6, is growing up. He’s approaching the big three years old. Our two biggest goals for the summer are 1) that cool underwear vs. diaper thing, and 2) improving language skills.

Gotta hand it to the kid. He’s really giving the communication thing his all. You can actually see him concentrating to get the words out in proper order – meaning – he’s putting a couple words together to form sentences. Don’t get me wrong, we still have our fair share of one or two word expressions. He’s a master at the word “No.” Says it so clear, makes you want to hug him. Or pop his bottom when it’s his answer to a directive like, “Let’s clean up toys!”

Well, leave it to a kid to put an adult in their I’m-the-grown up-know-it-all place. I think it was Dora that was on at the time. Might have been Team Umizumi. Let’s just say it was on Nickelodeon. I was busy changing one of the twin’s diapers. Aiden was all over the t.v., pointing and shouting, “Eight! MawMaw, eight!” I’m wiping poop off a toddler’s bottom who picks that moment to impersonate Chubby Checker and The Twist, so I glance up at the t.v. for just a second and  and say “Uh-huh, eight.”


Aiden, aka Grand 6

Aiden looks at me kind of weird and says again, “Eight, MawMaw, eight.”

With the toxic diaper out of the way, a clean diaper somewhat attached, I pay more attention to Aiden’s excitement over the number eight. The only problem was, they weren’t counting to eight, they were only counting to six. My first thought was WOW, Aiden can count to eight. I have contributed something to his day-times other than forced naps when grandma gets tired! Yeah me! Then I wondered what happened to the number seven?

So we go back and forth a few times with me counting to eight, with seven included, and him saying “No MawMaw, eight!”

Then I watched whatever show was leading my little Grand 6 astray and realized what he was seeing. Eight wasn’t eight at all – it was ATE. As in the elephant ATE the apple. Aiden demonstrated ATE by putting his hands to his mouth and pretending to gobble up something.

I don’t know how I’m going to explain there, their, and they’re.


Sometimes things aren’t what they seem

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