The “you’re not my mother” issue

I’m funny about certain holidays. Like, for instance, Valentines Day. In my humble opinion, celebrations for that day should be reserved for adult couples. But I see nothing wrong with school kids exchanging valentines with their classmates. But it stops there. I don’t expect a Valentines Day card from my grandkids, or my kids, or from my aunt or cousin or sibling.

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are other holidays I’m funny about. But not necessarily for the same reasons as above.

My ex-hubby and I have two kids together. Not once during our marriage did he acknowledge Mother’s Day for me. After years of no cards or even a forced “Happy Mother’s Day” statement, I finally asked why. Not that I expected anything grand – just a simple acknowledgement would do. His reply was, “you’re not my mother.”  Okay. I can give him that one. But I am the mother of two of his kids. Two kids, who at that time, were too young to drive themselves to the store and pick out a card. So heads up all you dads out there – buy it for them! Let them scribble their names on it with a crayon. Two things will come of this – you’ll make their mom so happy she’ll probably cry, and your kids will enjoy it. They’ll also learn the art of gift-giving. mothers-day-300x223

No, I’m not endorsing materialism. Or even Hallmark. But if children are never given the opportunity to give a gift – no matter how small – or a card someone else picked out or one that they made, they’ll grow up wondering what all the fuss is about. And many moms will not be able to claim a shoe box full of Mother’s Day cards as one of their most precious treasures.

And for anyone with a single mom in their live – offer to take the kids for an hour. And in that hour, run them up to the store if they’re old enough to pick something out for themselves, or spend an hour with them and crayons and a piece of construction paper. No one can put a price tag on the smile on that kid’s face when they present mom with her gift. 040513