I don’t want to be divorced anymore; I want to be single

I love the sit-com Whitney. Missed episodes are on my DVR list. It’s not a big ratings grabber, but I think it’s funny. There was an episode a while back where the main character, Whitney (expertly played by Whitney Cummings), and her boyfriend Alex decide to adopt a shelter dog. If anyone has adopted a shelter dog lately, you know the application process. In classic Whitney form, Whitney gets into an argument with the receptionist at the shelter over the “marital status” check box. See, she and Alex are living together – not technically married – and there is no check box for that. Family status form (Marital Status form)

Whether it’s medical, financial, or any other type of institution that requires such forms, they’re basically the same. A check box followed by: Single, Married, Divorced, and Widowed.

With yesterday being the grand poopah of all things romance, it brought to memory a situation I had similar to Whitney’s. I was filling out a form somewhere for something and balked at the marital status options. I’ve been divorced 27 years. Haven’t remarried and I’m not a widow. I’m single. I’m not in a relationship so that shouldn’t confuse the check box inspector. I’m single. I told the lady, “after twenty-seven years of being divorced, I’d like to be single again.”

Didn’t fly. Her response was along the line of “once divorced, always divorced”. I argued that no, I was once married, now I’m not, therefor I’m single. She looked at me like I had grown a second head.

I caved and begrudgingly checked the “divorced” box. What about the poor person who may have lost their first spouse then divorced their second? Technically, they’re widowed, divorced, and single. Ha! Take that, check box inspector. Next time I fill out a form, I’m going to answer: Eyes – 2; Sex – on occasion, and so on. I mean, unless it’s something I really need like emergency medical care, then I’ll probably cave again and continue to check “divorced”.Divorce

5 Comments

  1. I love this!!!!! So perfect, I must share this with a friend. Thanks Lynn
    Great blog. Mona

  2. Wow, Lynn, I’ve never looked at it that way before but I definitely can see your point, especially since you’ve been divorced for that length of time. You should definitely rebel on those forms. You’ve earned the right to be single again.

  3. Why can’t we just adhere to the seven year rule? If you file for bankruptsy, after seven years it’s no longer an issue. IRS and credit companies don’t care about the bad credit you had seven years ago, so if you’ve been divorced or widowed for seven years and hadn’t remarried, than you should be able to check the single box, period.

  4. Love this, Lynn! I hate those forms too.

  5. I totally agree with you. You’re single. So, unless your tortured and forced to talk, don’t volunteer any info. Check single.
    As far as I can tell you’ve been single long enought to have that status.
    There take that you ol’e box form!

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