It’s my story so bug off!

Yeah. And let me know when you get that crap published. There’s an art form to giving a good critique and one for receiving a good critique. I’ve been giving and receiving critiques in a formal atmosphere for 18 years. I feel somewhat qualified in offering advice in the give and take process.

Some authors are a little more sensitive than others. And granddaughter Ivy didn’t think much of  her faerie costume, either.

Let’s start with the receiving end. If you’ve ever had your work critiqued, good for you! It means you take your work seriously enough to want to make it the best it can be. Remember that first critique? Oh the nerves! Sweaty palms. Racing heart. Will they like it? Will they laugh when they’re supposed to? Cry at the right places? Been there, done that. Even with a few novels under my belt and some short story success, I can tell you the nerves are always there. Whether it’s your first critique or your hundredth. Some things never change. These few pointers can be used for whatever number critique you’re on.

• Be appreciative. Even if you don’t agree 100% with what they offer. Someone took time away from their own writing, reading, or life, to try and help make your work shine.
• Consider the source and act accordingly. Is the person giving the critique published? In what genre? Are they trying to turn your YA mystery into a highbrow literary masterpiece? If they haven’t published or have zero critiques to their credit, they may hesitate to give a bone-picking critique. Don’t think they love your work because they didn’t bleed over it. They probably just don’t know what to say yet. 
• If you belong to a critique group where several people are critiquing your work, majority rules. If five out of six people say you need to change your protagonist’s name, you may need to change his/her name. If only one person suggests it, consider their reasoning then either change it or don’t. It’s your story.
• Sometimes critiques hurt. Get over it. Yes, we know you’ve spent the last three years of your life struggling over this piece of…work. And we are sorry about that. Bottom line is, it’s your story. If you have faith in it, go for it. But after you stop crying, take another look at the critique. Yeah, we know, It’s hard to admit when you’re wrong.
• You call it nit-picking when I say a certain flower doesn’t bloom in March in the NC mountains. I call it making your story believable. If that particular flower’s that dang important to your story, make your story a fantasy. Anything’s possible in those.

Now how about giving a critique? Everyone has their own style. I, for instance, over critique. In fiction, we call it beating the reader over the head with information. Not only will I circle a word that doesn’t work, I’ll give you ten reasons why and a list of possible other word choices and a list of why they would work. Blame it on the OCD.

It’s all good in the end.

• When giving a critique, consider the level of ability of the author. Is this the first piece they’ve ever written? Or is it the eighteenth novel in a twenty-five book series (in this case the author may be bored with the series!) If they’re newbies, do they even know what POV is? Do they know what author intrusion means? Do they know what RUE means (resist the urge to explain). It doesn’t do any good to point out a POV shift when the newbie doesn’t even know what it is. Yeah, sometimes you have to hold their little hand.
• Know what the author is hoping to gain from the critique. Are they wanting a line edit (grammar, spelling, etc) or are they looking for a ‘big picture’ critique, or are they looking for the complete package?
• Even if the story is in a genre you’re not familiar with, you can still critique it. Every story must have the basic elements regardless of genre. Dialogue, pace, characterization, mechanics (grammar, paragraph lengths, scene breaks, etc). These things transcend genres so even if you’ve never read a sci-fi story in your life, you should still be able to critique the basics.
• Be helpful; not hurtful. There was a time you didn’t know what a POV shift was, either.
• Never, ever steal an idea. But, critiquing someone else’s work does help you see your own errors. It makes your own writing stronger. 
• Resist the urge to re-write. It’s their story, not yours. Don’t you have something of your own you need to be working on? 

Yeah, I struggle with that last one. It’s the OCD.